The Greatest Bastard
by unrequitedexistence
Summary: Slightly AU. Traci and Rachel come up with a plan to make Gail and Holly talk. It all happens at the Penny while Lisa tries to offer Holly something easy to go for. Songfic. Lyrics by the wonderful Damien Rice. T for minor coarse language.


This is _their_ song. Ever since I heard it I knew I had to write something with it and this was what came out of weeks and weeks of listening to the very same song over and over again.

I _had_ to finish this. I just couldn't write another chapter of _Secondhand Rapture_ before finishing this. So here it is. Hope you enjoy it!

NOTE: I had to remove the lyrics due to copyright issues... which makes total sense, really. Why not put it on while reading? On repeat, perhaps.

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><p><strong>GAIL<strong>

"You owe me, Peck." Traci said as she licked the salt Gail had poured on her hand and did another tequila shot, closing her eyes firmly as she bit into the slice of lime she had ready in hand.

"What exactly do you mean? I am already paying for _all_ of your drinks, Trace."

"_You._" Traci started, pointing a finger towards Gail's face, almost touching her nose. "You were the one who convinced me that it was a good idea. And look at me now!" She said, raising her hands in defeat.

"And _I_ was _right._ It's not my fault that you two idiots screwed everything up!" Gail sighed at Traci's desperate face expression. "Look, I know Steve. He will come to his senses. He loves you _way _too much."

"Really, Peck, that's what you are going for? That's all you've got?"

"Traci, shut up and drink up. I could bet you this tab that Steve is going to be here before the end of our lovely evening. I won't, though, because I am your friend and I want you to keep buying Leo games so that we can play together."

Traci rolled her eyes, deciding on ignoring that last comment about Leo and his games. They did spend way too much time together playing and she truly could never tell which one of them was more excited about the whole thing.

"So, as my _friend_, I am asking you to go and sing for me. It would make me feel so much better. Really." Traci put on her best puppy dog eyes.

"Some other time, Trace. I am not really in the mood to sing now…" Gail looked down, focusing her attention on something other than Traci's adorable pleading face.

"Like you aren't in the mood to reply to any of Holly's messages?" Traci raised an eyebrow slightly, staring at the woman that seemed way too lost in her thoughts to even be paying attention. She did notice the difference, the sudden stiffness, on Gail's posture once she mentioned Holly's name. _When cuteness doesn't help, harsh honesty will._

"Touché, sister, _touché_." Gail took a deep breath before throwing her head back and swallowing her tequila shot. No salt. No lime. Raw as raw could be and as raw could get. She then stood up and walked towards the stage.

"This is for you. All of you out there waiting to hear the words or to find the right ones to say."

**HOLLY**

Holly wasn't really feeling it. She didn't want to go out. All she wanted was to curl up in bed with a glass of wine and a novel. Cliché? Pretty much, even though her novel was most definitely not a romance. She knew exactly what those led to and she was beyond tired of reading _happily ever after_s that lasted for an eternity of a now that ended in a blink of an eye. That was something that every single author seemed to forget to mention. A forever only lasts as long as you want it to – or as long as you need it. Thing is, you are not always aware of _when_ that is. And when that's _your_ case? Well, it kind of sucks. And hurts. Like a bitch, really. The _happily ever after?_ Well, there's always an after after the after and usually it doesn't go well with the happily part. Headache? _My feelings exactly._

Lisa and Rachel had insisted though. Lisa had actually threated her by saying she would spend her night ringing her bell till she broke it or till someone called the police about the irritating and constant noise. Holly had actually weighted the pros and cons of Lisa's threat. What if her neighbors did call the police and Gail was the one to appear at her door? That would surely make things interesting. Gail would _have_ to talk to her. Gail would have to ask her if everything was all right. _What about 'hell no' as an answer? _Still, Gail would have to remain professional and there was nothing professional about their relationship. Actually, and ironically enough, their profession, their work and their education, or apparent lack of, had been the reason behind the whole mess they currently found themselves into.

And that was it. That was the reason why Holly was now at the Penny, trying to follow a conversation that her two friends were having with a third someone they had brought along so that Holly could meet her.

"_This is for you. All of you out there waiting to hear the words or to find the right ones to say."_

That was when she heard _her_ voice.

Holly closed her eyes instantly, her hands clinging to the glass still as half full and as half empty as it had been the moment it had been set in front of her.

Holly swallowed hard before allowing her brown eyes to search for the familiar silhouette that housed the voice that was currently making her heart beat as if _this_ moment was _the _marathon of its lifetime.

"Isn't that Gail?" Rachel asked Holly as she focused her eyes on the little stage that stood in the corner of the bar.

"She actually sings…? That's _her_ voice?" Lisa asked incredulously.

Her question was answered by a voice so filled with everything that it brought goose bumps to her skin.

"Oh yes, that's certainly Gail's… that's certainly _her _voice." Holly whispered, turning on her seat so that she could watch the blonde woman sing without having her neck scream at her about the terrible posture she had been on just minutes ago, when completely transfixed.

She had done this quite a few times before. She had had the honor and the pleasure of finding herself just simply watching Gail sing. _Transfixed. _The blonde wasn't very open about her singing, but Holly did catch her humming a tune every now and then. She was breathtaking. She was stunningly gorgeous on everyday life, but when she sang… God, when she sang… she seemed to glow. There was this energy about her… If the world could, Holly was sure it would stop to listen to her words for she gave them her soul, her heart, her _everything_.

Situations like this, having Gail openly singing something, only happened when she was either feeling completely comfortable and safe, or when she was completely drunk. Or at least that had been what Holly thought till this very moment. Today it seemed different. She didn't look drunk, she didn't sound it either, but she looked completely out of her comfort zone as well. She was doing this for someone… or for many _someone_s, as she had announced before she had started singing.

Holly had asked her once… she had asked Gail to sing for her. She could still remember the loving tone of the sudden blush that had taken over Gail's pale face. She hadn't said yes right away. Instead, Gail had ended up confessing that she felt more naked when singing than when completely nude. And she was so right. Even when nude, Gail wore quite a heavy armor. There were so many scars on her ivory skin… she was probably more than used to being looked at, to being stared at, to being fixed and patched back together. Those people, those who had touched her skin, applied pressure on her open wounds, mended her cuts… those people knew her body but they didn't know _her._

Getting to know Gail Peck was not an easy mission. She wore so many masks daily that sometimes even she got confused in the middle of all of them. But when she sang… when she sang she was definitely Gail, she was her truest self. And Holly loved that about her – _that _being exactly who Gail was.

"You guys know her?" The third girl, whose name Holly had forgotten – or perhaps never even known in the first place –, asked.

"That's Holly's ex." Rachel replied, too busy swaying to Gail's voice to elaborate.

"What? That's her ex? Now I get the look of complete and utter boredom in her face. That woman is quite something. Why did you two break up?"

"Because of me." Lisa answered, making Holly remove her eyes from the blonde for the very first time since she had started singing.

"Lisa… you know it's not your fault."

"It kind of was, Holly. I mean, I was worried about you, you know? Falling for a straight girl is never a good thing and after your last, I just thought you could use some _easy_. No offense." She said as she looked at the third girl.

"I started picking up the pieces even before I found you broken and you did what you always do, you agreed with me so that I would shut up. Gail heard you repeat my words. Yes, she should have stayed and heard your version, but I understand _her._"

"She fell in love with you. _Head over heels_ in love. It was pretty obvious from the way she behaved when we met her. She was clearly out of her comfort zone, but she was _trying._ Damn, that woman is a fighter."

"Falling in love with you meant going on an unending trip down memory lane. And still, she took that step forward. She came _out. _Everything she was sure of, everything little thing she believed to be true… it was all brought back to the table and put up for discussion. She lost her ground and you were _the_ only thing holding her up. And then you were just _having fun _with someone who was definitely not _enough_ for you. I am pretty sure that was the last thing she needed to hear from you."

"I think it's all pretty obvious from the way she's singing… and from _what_ she is singing." Lisa ended with a slight shrug and a deep sigh as she too turned to focus on Gail, completely avoiding Holly's eyes.

"Huh, that's kind of my fault...?" Everyone turned instantly to Rachel.

"I might have set some things in motion… things that might have resulted in this very moment. I am truly sorry, Ellen, I was not expecting Lisa to invite someone else… I really just wanted to have Holly and Gail talk…"

"How exactly did you get Gail up on that stage? Is she drunk?"

"I might have asked Traci for help."

"And the song…?"

These were way too many revelations and confessions for one night, and it wasn't even over. _And the worst, or perhaps the best, is still yet to come…_

"Now that was just dumb luck... or _destiny._"

**TRACI**

"Trace…?" Steve asked before finding himself frozen in his tracks as his sister's voice reached his ears and then her figure his eyes.

"How did you do that? How did you get my sister to sing without getting her completely drunk?"

"I told her you had left me and that it was all her fault."

"You did _what_ now?"

"Well, you did leave me hanging. I knew Holly was about to walk in and it would have all been ruined if she had seen Holly before she got on stage. I had to act quickly."

"You do know that she is going to kill you, right?"

"First, I truly hope she will be too busy figuring everything out with Holly to even remember me. Second, I will tell her this was _all_ your idea."

"Right. Sounds like quite a solid plan. Anyway, how did you make all of this happen?"

"Rachel."

"Rachel who?"

"Holly's friend? She walked by the Station to talk to Gail but she wasn't there, so…"

"You are too good at these intervention things, these… _mending_ things… it's kind of scary, honestly." He said as he sat by her.

"Shut up and listen. Maybe you could learn one thing or two with your sister."

"You do know that the singing thing doesn't really run in the family, right?"

"She is not just singing, Steve. She is baring her soul. She is putting herself out there because a friend needed her to… because I, a friend, asked her to. I said this would save me from drowning in my own tears and she is drowning in her own so that I can survive."

"Wow. She is going all Jack Dawson on the world."

**GAIL**

The irony of life had brought her the song she was currently singling on the day of _the_ date, the day of the _come meet my best friends and please love them_ date, the day of the _let's screw everything up by running the fuck away without even letting the best person you have ever met explain herself_ date.

Gail knew the lyrics by heart now. Somehow that song had been playing in her head ever since she had heard it for the first time. She had gotten home from the terrifying date, she had ignored all of her friends' questions and had quickly changed into her running clothes – that she had never used for recreational running as she had never really been into it – before grabbing her keys, her iPod and leaving again. She was already out of the apartment when she noticed that the iPod she had thought to be hers was indeed Chloe's. Not having the courage to go back in to get her own she simply pressed shuffle and started moving. And that was when she heard _The Greatest Bastard_ by Damien Rice for the very first time.

It reminded her of her relationship with Holly.

_Holly_.

She had run away and Holly hadn't run after her. But then again, who would? She was well aware of the fact that she had twisted Holly's words… she had twisted them because she was scared as hell of not being good enough and she needed a way out. She didn't feel like she deserved Holly so the brunette's words had been her _emergency_. That was _the_ truth. And whose fault was that? Her own.

Gail was her own worst enemy. She only knew one way of getting out of the tree and so she had done just that. _Again_. This time, though, this time she had actually jumped off of the top of tree. That was something she had never done before. Somehow, she had always landed on her own two feet, but this time… this time she had been too far up and so she had fallen and broken down into a million of tiny little pieces. So now… now she found herself sitting in a hole of self-pity, licking wounds that seemed to refuse to heal. But then again, wasn't that exactly what she had been looking for? Wouldn't those open wounds be _just_ the _right_ justification for her staying away from everything and drowning in her own self-doubt? If only there wasn't a definition to the word _regret…_

_Oh, regrets._

She hadn't even given Holly time to explain. And now? Now there were no trees left to climb. Or at least none she would want to.

That was when Gail first opened her eyes and met Lisa's. She had been trying to kill her current train of thought by injecting herself with reality, but what she hadn't been expecting was to find herself staring right back into a real version of her _train_, a human sized, currently breathing, version of her _train_.

This time she didn't find hatred in Lisa's eyes, though… just remorse. And that could only mean one thing…

Sky blue met chocolate brown almost instantly. It would have taken Gail's breath away if only she hadn't been used to getting completely lost in them, in _her._ That was the thing about Holly… the thing about their relationship. They would put the word _intensity_ to shame if a new one was created to fit exactly what they felt for, and with, each other. It was beyond _everything._ It was so beyond _everything_ that it was scary… scary _good._

This was not _just_ a tree, this was _the _tree. She knew now that she was meant to climb and fall and climb again till she could do it all with her eyes closed. And each fall? It would be worth going back up again. And again. And _again._

**HOLLY**

"Thank you, Rachel." Holly said as she reached for Rachel's hand and squeezed it gently. She then reached for Lisa's and did exactly the same. "Thank you, Lisa. I know you two had the best intentions." She added, before letting go and getting up from her seat.

"Do you think we screwed everything up?" Rachel asked as she followed Holly with her eyes.

"I believe that's something they should ask themselves and probably each other."

"You know," Ellen started, "If I had just walked in and didn't know anything about those two, I would definitely be jealous of how perfect they seem to be for one another… and oh so _perfectly_ in love." The third woman completed with a sigh, resting her elbows on the table and then her chin on the palm of her hands.

By now Holly had reached the stage and was standing right in front of a Gail that had set the microphone down to take that last step that closed the space between their bodies.

_Up the tree you go._

"I never meant to let you down. I never meant…" What had started as just a whisper was completely silenced by Holly's gentle lips on hers.

"I know."

_Up the tree you stay._


End file.
